Dec 25 - addendum

Addendum to 25-12-2018

I feel like Scrooge
Or even the Grinch!
Although maybe that's not right either
As I do not feel I am stingy
With my money, time or person.
Nor do I wish to take away
Anyone else's decor, gifts
Or celebrations this year.

Maybe a little more like Eeyore.
Nothing this season
Has made me as happy
As I feel I should be.
I am underwhelmed by the season.

I had great hopes and plans
Grounded in reality this year...
I accepted what needed to change
Or be altered or left out,
With no serious problems doing that.

Time flew.
Not just in the past few weeks,
But this whole YEAR.
Projects took twice as long to do,
And time was limited
When I did get the chance
To attack a project I was looking
Forward to accomplishing.

Friends dwindled
And family disappeared.

Dad's health is taking a turn,
And so expectations of excitement
And participation are again
Put off for another year.

While Mom is still recovering
From surgery and we are looking
Already to book the second one.
I am still very leary of leaving
Her alone for extended time periods.

My "life" has become task oriented
And I have so little time
To do what I want to do!
Well what I want to do
With no interruptions or places to be.

John is having his usual tough time
With this season
And family members are few
And far between.

I love big holiday meals.
I love cooking them and having people
Enjoy celebrating with us.
But
Perhaps 3 of them 3 days in a row
Is a bit much for even me.

I so enjoyed making and buying gifts
This year but I never got to deliver
Some of them and it's already
The 26th of December!!!!!

I was very blessed this season
however
To have a couple worry so much
About what I was unable to do
That not only did they cook me
Christmas Day dinner,
They at one point offered
To go into my home and decorate for me.
They bought us lovely gifts
And spent a good part of the day
With us, as they knew we would
Be alone this holiday.

So blessed, so lucky
And yet so underwhelmed
Even when I based my expectations
On less than what I really wafted.