JAN 31

January 31st 2017

Up and off to a 9am dentist appointment.

I hate dentist appointments.
The fact that I have been
on tooth killing drugs since I was 19
THAT is 30 years!!!
does not give me any reason
to love the idea any more.

Well,
a few weeks back,
I was advised that my teeth
are indeed hollow.
I have shells, which are very delicate.

The most recent broken tooth
has been incredibly painful
since that appointment,
so that is where our focus was to be.

I had taken a couple lorazepam
before going in,
and other than the freezing,
I stayed semi calm
while they removed 2 very damaged molars
on the left side of my mouth.

I even stayed calm
while she stitched up my mouth!

Mom took me back to her house,
where I promptly fell asleep all afternoon!
John came and got me,
and I managed to get some macaroni,
some pudding and some ice cream down.
Soon followed by a night in beddy bye.

My thoughts have been circling
around the whole idea of "what"
will make me happy,
and how I am going to include that
in my life this year.
Taking life as it comes, is fine,
but that does not improve
my life or add anything special.

I want more,
which is greedy yes,
but considering I usually am able
to share that "more" with others...
I don't feel too bad about it.

Good night from John Street