sept24
September 24th 2015
I spend my days now, waking in pain. Not omg I am dying pain. My body is in a constant state of achiness. Not just an elbow, or ankle... if you asked me I could not actually choose an actual spot worse than others.
So when I am tired, and sore and trying not to be a bother to anyone, sometimes I feel like any request ANYONE makes is just such a big deal, I want to scream. It isn't usually that the request is big... I think the fact that I have learnt to say NO does.
I spend my days now, waking in pain. Not omg I am dying pain. My body is in a constant state of achiness. Not just an elbow, or ankle... if you asked me I could not actually choose an actual spot worse than others.
So when I am tired, and sore and trying not to be a bother to anyone, sometimes I feel like any request ANYONE makes is just such a big deal, I want to scream. It isn't usually that the request is big... I think the fact that I have learnt to say NO does.
leech1 [lēCH]
NOUN
- an aquatic or terrestrial annelid worm with suckers at both ends. Many species are bloodsucking parasites, especially of vertebrates, and others are predators.
- a person who extorts profit from or sponges on others:"they are leeches feeding off the hardworking majority"
VERB
- habitually exploit or rely on:"he's leeching off the kindness of others"
Sometimes I feel like a leech, other times I feel leeched and even other times I wish the 18th century belief that leeches could provide some measure of comfort to the ill was true.
I have too much I want to do, to have days, weeks and months taken away because I am too sore to actually move, really sucks. So I did get up and deal with people today. I did drive out to see John when he asked and I did do some housework.
I think I would have rather donated a leg.
To my amusement, the people I did see, noticed I was organizing all those movies I have into my new beautiful baskets. They suggested I could alphabetize them. I SUGGESTED they were new to this planet! I had already done it. How else would you know if you have duplicates????????? Most of the VHS tapes I was donating, were taken this afternoon. Some of the VHS movies we have now ordered DVD replacements of, so it is looking a little more 20th century in that way anyway.
Proud as I could be I moved the baskets over to put under the sofa... and found that NOT ALL DVD movies are the same size. The sofa is 1/8th" too short. (the sofa is getting the little nail in feet to make it slide better and all will be good) but REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was it and everyone knew it...... people flew out the door and ran for the hills. Judy went out for sushi with Dylan - and then had Reservist training tonight, Greg headed off for work and I swear the dog ran out the back door.
It is 8pm now and I am calmer now. I was "sort of" part of a chat today, but my mood prevented me from accomplishing much to brag about.
I think I need to watch my jellybean video
I think I need to realize that at least I can still do more than some people out there, and had people to at least follow today, even though I couldn't participate.
I think I need to know people aren't actually leeches, myself included. There are just some days... and on those days you just can't do it alone.
I think I need to head to bed, hug my beagle and try again tomorrow!
Good night from John Street.
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