March 1st 2019

Ye to gads man,
The third month of 2019 begins.

May be a good day to review
What you resolutions\goals were
Just 2 months ago
And figure out how you can
Better achieve them
OR
Why they failed.

My resolution was:

"I am full of project ideas,
Hopes, wishes and calenders.
The goal is to depressurize myself.

Better planning and execution of jobs
And less dependency on others
Who have disappointed me
In the past year.

I do not want to hide!
I do not want to become a hermit!
But
I do need to become more able
To spend time with myself
And enjoy the company!!

My goal for 2019 is understanding.

Understanding what I need
What I want
What I can do
What my future health looks like
Why people do what they do
And most importantly
LISTENING to understand
What people are really saying."

Part one was depressurize.
Although I have all these calendars
I spend very little time using them.
Depressurizing came from
"Bulk" everything.
If I go out, I go everywhere.
If I stay home, I focus on the house.
If I scrapbook, I am in the zone.
I am disappointed with myself
For my NEED of other people
But better understand
How I function in my friendships.
Happily I can now spend more time
Alone doing things that I enjoy
That just last year I would have
Liked better if someone else joined me.

Understanding....
I understand what I need and want
I know what I can do.
Listening is an acquired skill...
I am working on it.

I cannot change what people do,
But I can change how oftwn
I put myself in a place to be hurt.
I have found each of my "friendships"
Are not necessarily based on
An equal like of each other
But in some cases
I feel I am a fill in when
There is nothing else out there for them.
Others can go weeks,
And one chat sentence is enough
To check in until we have time
To catch up again.
Understanding the kind of relationship
It is should help me in 2019
To expect less from some relationships
And grow with others.

Yesterday was a melange of a day.
I was not even dressed before
A monkey wrench was thrown in.
I survived and accomplished
And ended the day
Making a little girl look and feel
Like a princess and have a special
Night out all about her.

Goals for today:

*) unpack bag from LDO
1) wrap birthday gifts
2) coffee\birthday party
3) wash car and vacuum
4) make supper
5) clean craft desk
6) sort though the last of my unused phots

Good morning from John Street