april 29th 2020

9 years ago today,

The truth finally came out.

After MONTHS of doctors appointments,

Tests, ignorance and too many

Emergency visits to count,

The worst was about 

to start happening.

I woke up and managed to get

Downstairs in pyjamas.

No milk so I ate dry alphabets.

Mistake as that would be my LAST

Solid meal for months.

The pain had been so intense

That when alone in the house

John made me use a cane

And I was alone this morning.

The pain this morning was tolerable.

I was happily going about

A few things while I could,

When I realized the front of my 

pyjamas was wet.

This was around lunchtime.

I looked down and my belly button

Was leaking....

Panic set in and speaking became 

A garbled mess of noise

Which Pam heard as I screamed

Into the phone for help

Interupting her lunch with her mom.

I called 911.

When the ambulance got here

The ever observant attendant

Said "oh your belly button is just sweating" .

But, after some insistance

I was transported (again) to STEGH.

In the triage Sister Mary happened by

And said a prayer for me.

It worked because I was finally

Introduced to a doctor who heard me.

Dr Hugg

Who listened and noticed that perhaps

My belly button really shouldn't be leaking

As it was aesthetic! Not real.

It was put there after a past surgery.

Happily, we thought,

We (yes there was Pam)

Were sent off to LHSC for help.

Up to this point, and soooo many ER trips

By so many friends who believed me,

Not one doctor, nurse, CT scanner,

Specialist, triage worker or the 

Numerous students who had seen me

(With my permanent marker notes

On my body, detailed notes I had written

And vocal friends) had believed me.

Actually a specialist told me

"he feels that the medicine is working, the crohns is healing, and the diarrhea is settling, and now that has made you constipated. He sees this often. Start Laxaday 1 glass daily x 1 week, then increase to 2 glasses a day if not better. If better, stay with the one glass. Take this until he sees you again."

This was just 7 days before

And was done by email,

He had not seen my in 6 weeks.

Hydromorphone and tylenol

Did nothing to curb this pain.

So off to LHSC in an ambulance ride

From hell!

I swear they hit even bump and track

They could find en route.

Once again when we got to triage

I was not considered "emergency" .

Want to know why?

Because Pam and I were trying 

Everything to keep our mind off

What was going on.

She was telling jokes and making me

Forget what was going on.

The high from Dr Hugg's belief

Was disappearing as we waited

For hours.

Finally a woman doctor passed by us

And back tracked to talk to Pam,

Dr Ana who noticed that now,

I was sliding out of the wheelchair 

They had put me in.

I don't remember much

But know that soon I was in an

Emergency "operating room" on a table.

Apparently this doctor seen what Dr Hugg

Did and banged some heads together.

They were putting an IV in and Pam

Was headed for home as John 

Had arrived.

Unfortunately within minutes

Of the IV starting I went into shock.

Signs of an allergic reaction: 

rash; hives; itching; red, swollen, 

Fever; wheezing; tightness in the chest, 

Trouble breathing, swallowing, 

Talking and swelling of the mouth, 

face, lips, tongue, or throat

I had them all.

I do not remember anything else.

I was septic.

My intestines not only had fistulas

But had blown open.

This was just the first day

Of hell on earth for me in 2011.

Good night from John Street